The Autism is Autism-ing again
Since being diagnosed, however long ago that was, I find myself falling harder and harder into the completely-unable-to-mask lifestyle. I hate it. I hate getting to go outside whenever I want, and meeting new people… I never thought I’d be stressed to take a picture even, but I can’t even do that anymore with out completely overthinking everything!
My therapist got me writing in a journal about my mental breakdowns and panic attacks. While it’s useful and validating to have a way to analyze the patterns involved, it’s really disheartending too, because I never really think about just how messed up I am until I look at all the evidence before me.
Any advice? I mean, besides killing myself lol, believe me, I’ve tried.
In other news,
I’ve been very excited about learning pure C! I’ve been writing most of my projects in C++, but as I’ve come to realize, I don’t want to work in a language that gets regular breaking updates where I have to constantly describe the version I’m using before even compiling.
Went ahead and rewrote my little ‘info’ script, and hot-damn, its 3 milliseconds faster! You can check it out here if that’s you’re thing. For the time being the C++ version is still in there as well if you would like to compare!
Due to lack of energy and self-worth, I haven’t been able to work on too many photos, so instead I have opted for a Star Trek meme instead.
